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you know what my love is. - Hiroka's Magik Wonderland [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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you know what my love is. [Jan. 25th, 2014|08:58 pm]

this is where I tell you how blah blah blah.. I have had a horrible night.

My dad brought up every evil that happened to me, and blamed himself as though he was somehow there, and directed the events.

I have a strong suspicious thought he's mostly made of this evil he doesn't know when it shows up.

He's afraid to continue living, and he feels like it's unable to do things like organize something as simple as his room, and shop. I'm afraid it'll be worthless to look forward to until he dies. the old process of having him away, and tearing through all the stuff. it's so much work! he needs to be away for a week on a good weather.

I have reason, I have positive aim
I suffer from not being able to put things together.

it's sufferance, I don't even do anything wrong. but abuse seems to continue..

I stopped blaming myself, and hating myself for these actions, and how others treat me.

I just don't know what to do with any of this information