||[Jun. 11th, 2013|03:31 am]
I am all flustered, and horney, and well fricked up physically and emotionally. this place used to be so useful, but now I post here because I don't want the shitty drama of seeing others who really haven't met me or don't know how I feel from my borders.|
I'm in a good estrogen not-so-care-y place with me not exactly avoiding my E, but instead forgetting to take it. I'm curious should I go back on, and suffer a savage mental berrage or do I stay off it, and hope my body can live without for two months?
Then there's this Baby thing. I know NONE of my trans friends bring up having a baby, but I was always avoidant of thinking about it before transition, and then so many feelings came when I was in a new relationship. one where they didn't want to feed the unborn child to her Dogs.
My Fiance is a kind, and loving gal, but probley will avoid carrying a baby unless I were to somehow MAN-UP which she never knew of me doing. ever, but I think everyone thinks I can be a Bill Gates or a Career person. I don't believe in the situation as being a static as it was for only about 30yrs.
I'm not her dad abusing himself as he offers the new sales ads. I bet he's having a big problem not working like he used to.
I've always had pains and mental issues. they told me this from every year of school i went to. bad kid or mental or sckizo. I think nobody understands me, and throughout alot of my education. I still haven't found a way to explain that to anyone. I'm not able to do all that, and make monotonous money.
I am very upset that when I hear triggers to talk about sex with my partner she's thinking about computers, and I was thinking you want to color what??
Nobody cares either.